Happy Hour Messages

After being hounded for HH locations days and weeks in advance, the exalted Bo Zaza created a printed guide for Q4 in 1986 and began the custom of starting off with an inspirational message to the swillers. This collection starts with the first printed HH Guide and ends with the last printed annual guide in 1995 (before we started relying only on the HH website). There was no printed guide until the second half of 1988, because I tried a laminated mini-pocket guide to fit in our wallets and purses that had the first half of 1988. Making the mini-guide was more trouble than I anticipated and not many used it as I had foreseen, but Hey, I went there. It moved to the back page of the HH Guides for '91 and '92 as cut outs that you could laminate yourself and then disappeared in '93.

1990 marked the first HH Guide to feature artwork by the talented Ron Goode. He provided cover art for the next few guides from 1990 through 1994. I also took advantage of his generous contributions to make koozies and flyers.

Anyway, it's all for fun and jollies. Enjoy.

Accept No Substitutes - Bo Zaza

The Historical Guide to HH Guides

1986 . 1987 . 1988 . 1989 . 1990 . 1991 . 1992 . 1993 .1994 . 1995 .


Happy Hour Plan for Fourth Quarter 1986

Greetings, Tipplers:

This marks a new phase in the history of Happy Hour. No longer will you have to tussle with sleepless bouts of nervous anticipation awaiting my final cedree to find out: "Where is Happy Hour this week?"

With this Plan youcan put to rest your fears and trepidations and go on about the normal business of your job. Objections can be committed to hard copy and filed in the gray box beside my desk at any time. See you at Happy Hour.

Vice Commodore
Bo Zaza

OBJECTIVES

  • To bolster the corporate morale
  • To provide an atmosphere for gelling business strategy
  • To improve interdepartmental communications
  • To offer a means of releasing the tensions built up over a normal high-tech week at Telematics
  • To visit new places and meet new people
  • To play catch, invent games
  • To get shit-faced and break thangs

STRATEGY

I am publishing this Quarterly Schedule to remove all doubt about where it is we will be going for a while. Also, this enables you to plan your entire life around Happy Hour if you so desire. (And I think you do.)

We will be visiting places that offer a combination of things: atmosphere, proximity, economy, alcohol, music, snacks, etc. The plan is to visit alfresco places in Q4 because the weather will be best for that. We also want to waver between casual and formal places, between loud and quiet places, between expensive and cheap places, and between familiar and new places. It is up to those of you who attend these things to suggest new places and to voice your choices for or against places - for whatever reasons.

In some cases, there will be a Phase 2 offering. This is a second place to go (after the drink prices go up at the first place) to find more excitement or a dance floor, or even just a place that stays open until 4 in the morning. For instance, a typical move is to go from Cheers at 8:00 PM to Sea Chasers which offers more of the same, but also provides a live band and dance floor.


The 1987 Guide to Happy Hour
South Florida Edition

A Planned Attack
of the
Bars, Bistros, Dens, and Dives
in
Broward, Dade, and
Palm Beach Counties
(mostly Broward)

OBJECTIVES

  • To visit new places and meet new people
  • To release those yuppie tensions
  • To bolster the corporate morale
  • To play catch, invent games
  • To get shit-faced and break thangs

STRATEGY

The Annual Happy Hour Schedule enables you to plan your entire life around Happy Hour if you so desire. (And I think you do.)

We will to to places that offer a combiation of things: atmosphere, proximity, economy, alcohol, music, snacks, etc. And good company.

The plan is to visit alfresco places when the weather will be best for that. We also want to waver between casual and formal places, between lous and quiet places, between expensive and cheap places, and between familiar and new places. It is up to those of you who attend these things to suggest new places and to voice your choices for or against places - for whatever reasons.

The Phase 2 offering is a second place to go (after the drink prices go up at the first place) to find more excitement or a dance floor, or even just a place that stays open until 4 in the morning.

Good Tidings, Mirthophiles:

You want better? You want more? More fun. More thrills. More beer. Here it is: the 1987 Guide to Happy Hour, South Florida Edition.

Faster than an automatic stapler
More powerful than a DELETE command,
Able to leap piles of ofrfice memos in a single bound,
Look, there at the bar,
It's a lawyer; it's a clown:
No. It's Bo Zaza!
Who, disguised as a wild-mannered computer geek,
Wages a never-ending battle
Agains the forces of abstinence and boredom
To preserve Truth, Beauty, Justice,
The American Way, and breakdancing.

VICE COMMODORE STARLOG: Stardate 121212121986;
In low orbit above the Limits of Imagination. Having just returned from a grueling ordeal at Durty Harry's where the Wrath of Bob Gold was finally appeased with three pitchers of Killian's Red and a basket of conch fritters, the first mate and I charted out a new course to replenish our supply of dilithium crystals and vitamins A, B, E, and S. The coming year holds 48 Friday nights capable of supporting life as the Happy Hour Crew knows it. We've charted 37 planned stops and 11 sojourns into the unknown: Mystery Picks.

The plan was simple -- stick with what works. Bars within a couple of light years of the Star Base work. So we visit Cheers 11 times, Bennigan's 5, Gallery 5, and thrices for Steak and Ale, 94th Aero Squadron, and Crab Apple.

The Mystery Picks are slots that allow us to plug in new places or something different. These will remain floating until the week before -- to be selected by popular vote.

Last year was a record-breaking Happy Hour season. We held it 50 out of 52 weeks. Our ranks grew as high as 30, and we sampled new delights from Delray Beach to Hollywood. Your participation helped us achieve last year's goals in fine style.

The coming year promises to offer an equal diversity of people and places. With an emphasis on quality atmosphere and an eye for taking advantage of bargains where available, I offer the following schedule.

See you at Happy Hour.
Bo Zaza


Happy Hour Guide
For Second Half 1988

Note from the Vice Commodore

The real FUN of Happy Hour is the people. You never know who will be there, or how many. Sometimes 30 show up and things get kinda rowdy. Other times, just a few diehards gather to discuss more serious issues. Another part of HH FUN is its unpredictable spontaneity. To preserve this sacred informality, all I provide is the time and place to start. You do the rest.

Festivities begin each Friday about 6 PM at the Happy Hour Spot. See me if you don't know where the HH spot is, or the G spot, or if you need a copy of the HH Guide. Be sure to leave your mark in the Official 1988 HH Logbook - a sort of portable graffiti collection.

Our aim is widely directed toward FUN. Our goal is to play hard and invent games. SO please, drive safely and remember:

THERE ARE NO RULES
TO HAPPY HOUR

Bo Zaza (Accept no subsitutes)
Vice Commodore


1989 Happy Hour Guide

CHANGING THE WORLD
ONE DRINK AT A TIME

Note from the Vice Commodore

1988 - You were there.

You went to the new bars, the old bars. You drank and danced, sang and laughed. You mastered the Mystery Pick and cherished the world's first laminated mini-pocket Happy Hour schedule.
You learned how to take FUN seriously.
So what do you want, now?
More of everything, and make it snappy, right?

Well, you got it! In addition to a new HH Guide, 1989 brings you a Bush in the White House and telephones everywhere - in cars, in boats, at dinner. There are even FAXes for requesting radio songs!

So here it is: more bars, new bars, old bars, nice bars, sleazy bars, expensive bars, and cheap bars. More fun, more variety, more people, more drinks. More, more, more. I LOVE THIS COUNTRY.

Bo Zaza
Vice Commodore

THERE ARE NO RULES TO HAPPY HOUR


1990 Happy Hour Guide

BREAK ONLY ONE LAW AT A TIME

Key

Happy Hour begins at 5:30 pm at the designated bar. In most bars HH usually lasts for a couple hours between 4 and 8 pm. For people who work, getting there by 5 or 6 pm is more convenient. We usually hang around until 8 or 9 pm. So show up early or show up late, but do show up. This year's guide includes addresses and phone numbers of the HH bars so you can call for directions.

The Mystery Pick builds flexibility and responsiveness into the HH schedule. It's an open slot to plug in a bar not already on the list. Pass your nominees for Mystery Pick to Bo Zaza, who ultimately chooses the Mystery Pick a week in advance to announce it at Happy Hour.

Phase 2 refers to the place we go after we get kicked out of the first place. It usually involves food or dancing and, occasionally, foreplay.

The Official Happy Hour Logbook, an integral part of the HH tradition, is a blank book for people to write, draw, and contribute items of interest. It's a sort of portable graffit; it keeps us from writing on the restroom walls (sometimes).

Designated Drivers are "IN". The responsible consumption of alcohol for recreational purposes is not just a concept: it's a necessary way of life. Know and respect your own limits of tolerance, and keep an eye on fellow HH Crew members.

From time to time there will be other opportunities for us to get together and revel. From private parties to pub crawls (like the Water Taxi ride from bar to bar). Keep your eyes and ears opne for new reasons to get us out of the house and into the streets.

The Story

Happy Hour is an organized, floating, drinking society. The roots of Happy Hour are nearly as old as the discovery of yeast. With each new year, the fine art of sharing good conversation while enjoying festive beverages achieves new heights. With each new Friday, the Happy Hour Crew gets better.

Looking back over the examples set for us in 1989 by Zsa Zsa Gabor, Jim and Tammy Baker, Leona Helmsley, Ivan Boesky, the late dictator Nicolae Ceausescu, General Manuel Noriega, and various other drug kings in South America, we can exude a valuable lesson for our own lives during the 90's. All of these creatures committed several crimes. If there is one thing that these people's actions have taught us, it is that flagrant disregard for your fellow human beings will be dealt with eventually. Sooner or later, your portion will be evened, your just desserts will be served, and the scales will be balanced. For those of use who are not perfect either, but who are much wiser than these hapless excuses for people, we can extract the following code of ethical behavior for the 90's:

BREAK ONLY ONE LAW AT A TIME

Vice Commodore
Bo Zaza


1991 Happy Hour Guide

TEAR DOWN THE WALLS

The few conscious among us have seen the world take some amazing turns over the past few months. Manuel Noriega, after seeking religious asylum, emerged from the walls of a Vatican mission to face serious drug charges. Mayor Marion Barry sought shelter behind the walls of his political fame. The United Soviet Socialists Republic edged closer toward democracy and free market economics. Poland elected Lech Walesa as its President. Saddam Hussein brazenly invaded Kuwait, setting up two walls around that country: one being Iraq's military barriers, and the other being the economic embargo placed around Iraq and Kuwait. The whole world wants the US to start tearing down those walls January 15.

The Berlin Wall has been torn down piece by piece to unite East and West Germany. Once stark symbols of conservatism and solid security, the walls of the US savings and loan associations started to crumbles. Nelson Mandela was relased from the walls of his African prison to tour the world on a mission of peace, while Pete Rose entered the walls of a US prison for tax evasion. Imposters Milli Vanilli stood behind a wall of tecnology until they were discovered and forced to return their Garmmy. Margaret Thatcher, who sat on top of Great Britain's walls of power for over 11 years, stepped down. Iran experienced an earthquake that not only shattered 50,000 lives, but also leveled thousands of walls. Even multi-millionaire Michael Milken is getting the inside story as he serves ten years for fraud on Wall Street. And, a little closer to home, the latest economic recession has caused changes within the walls of the work place for all of us.

In short - the old icons of the status quo have crumbled or are beginning to crumble. Walls separating ideologies and people are starting to disintegrate. These events and attitudes portend the coming a grand new age. And we can do our part, too.

As proud and active members of the Happy Hour Crew, we can facilitate a breaking with the old order by tearing down a few walls of our own. Tear down the walls around your life and climb out of your own private rut. Meet new people. Visit new places. Replace old habits with new. Tear down the walls of tradition where they are no longer necessary. Challenge authority. Defy the gods. Start over. Rebuild. Go. Do. Come to Happy Hour and be ready to

TEAR DOWN THE WALLS!

Bo Zaza
Vice Commodore


1992 Happy Hour Guide

RUDE RHINO CLUB
We Take Our Fun Seriously

As the US continued crawling through the recession in 1991, we saw many of our friends caught in the turmoil of corporate indecision. If you weren't laid off yourself, you knew many who were. Those who stayed to carry the company flags were not much better off than those who were thrust into the job search.

And while the threat of nuclear holocaust was beginning to plague the nightmares of grade schoolers, the Communist Party staged a ridiculous coup attempt which set Russia free to pursue capitalism in all its greedy glory. Now the citizens of the Soviet Union are free from communism, but they face a harsh winter and the impending uncertainty of a shaky economy amid the sweeping changes that follow their emergence into the free world.

Geez! This life thing can really get out of hand. If it isn't your boss or your spouse laying on the bullshit, it's some political screw-up that has you pinned under the Thumb of Destiny. The solution? Take the situation in your hands and remember: attidude is everything. If you aren't in the proper frame of mind, nothing makes sense. And little else has purpose.

Enter Happy Hour.

Anyone can go to a bar and have a drink. What sets us apart from the madding crowd is the careful organization of our approach. We carefully schedule bars where we can gather with our friends and share a drink. It isn't the alcohol, or the free hors d'ouvres, or even the music on the jukebox. It is the people. It is the collection of personalities and memories that gives Happy Hour its own life. We are here to have a good time - we make a career of having fun. The serious pursuit of enjoying life and being able to sustain it - that's the secret of the universe.

So come to Happy Hour each Friday where you can join us as...

WE TAKE OUR FUN SERIOUSLY

Bo Zaza
Vice Commodore


1993 Happy Hour Guide

Trust Us: We're Professionals

The 1993 Message: Words to Drink By

A certain air of sexual desperation wafts through bursts of laught and thumps emanating from the jukebox. You're standing near a bar, holding this bookley, reading its message, and wondering: "What the heck is this think, anyway? Who are these people and why are they crowding MY bar?"

The Happy Hour Crew is an organized, floating society. Every Friday we go to a different bar to meet and talk. The roots of Happy Hour reach as deep as the origin of beer - the cornerstone of civilization. With each new year, the fine art of good conversation while enjoying festive beverages achieves new heights. This year we are focusing on doing more with the rest of the week - you remember: those non-Friday days.

Beginning thi year, I've installed the Happy Hour Hot Line. Call (305) 943-7717 from anywhere on the planet to hear about Happy Hour activities. Soon, you'll see the HH newsletter to keep you up-to-date on the latest news and events of interest. And watch for the upcoming HH Crew Directory - a list to help keep you in touch with those you meet every Friday.

If you like outdoor music, check out the Sunday Jazz Brunch on Riverwalk held 11 am through 2 pm the first Sunday of every month. Call (305) 761-5703 for more about that.

Throughout the year, watch for special events, private parties, and, of course, the really big and highly popular (like totally out of hand, man): Annual Gypsy Pilgrim Jamboree Thanksgiving camping excursion. Join us as we head for the swamps to escape the hectic hubbub of urban life.

Over the past decade as Happy Hour Crew members, we've eliminated rules. We've torn down walls. We've changed the world, one drink at a time. We've taken our fun seriously. We've even seen what breaking more than one law at a time can do to someone. We've grown older, wiser, and much more experienced as a result. This experience is not wasted. So take heed when you see us lift our glasses. We're not amateurs.

Trust us: we're professionals.

Bo Zaza, Vice Commodore
Accept No Substitutes


1994 Happy Hour Guide

ONE FOR THE TOAD

HAPPY HOUR 1994

Ok, this is how it works: I make the HH Guide, and you carry it with you at all times so you can show up on Fridays to do your part.

"What is my part?" you ask?

To fill the Happy Hour Spot with verve, to buy and use their products, to use their facilities, to park in their Executive spots, to astonish them with our conviviality, and to have one for the toad.

Time, and time again, newcomers to Happy Hour say to me, "Bo, this is such a great group of people. Everyone is so friendly and open. They're interested in me as a person and are concerned about how I'm adjusting to Happy Hour. They're fun and so unpretentious and genuine." We can all take deep pride in those words. And you phonies among us can be especially proud that you're so damn good at disguising it.

Yet, in our haste to satify our human whims, let's not overlook those lesser species that also inhabit this spinning ball in space. With our glasses and our ecological hackles raised, let's swear to live each day more harmoniously with all living things, and whenever you toast, remember to have -

ONE FOR THE TOAD

Bo Zaza, Vice Commodore
Accept No Substitutes


Drink Free or Die!

1995 Happy Hour Guide

Happy Hour 1995

Welcome to our fourteenth exciting year of exploring south Florida's taverns with the Happy Hour Crew.

The struggle to enjoy alcohol freely in the bars, homes and streets of America has escalated to still higher pitch this year, and the role of stupidity and drunkenness has been deliberately blurred by many. While no one can argue that a lot of stupid drunks are out there doing bad things - killing people with cars, guns, and thoughtlessness; endangering lives of the unborn; and just plain acting disgracefully in general, it is necessary to separate these acts from the drug ALCOHOL. You don't have to drunk to do something stupid.

When boating safety proponents tell us: "90% of all boating accidents involve alcohol", what they fail to mention is that 99% of all boating excursions involving alcohol return safely without a single mishap! In fact, the Happy Hour philosophy purports that most activities are far more fun with alcohol than without it.

We of the Happy Hour Crew find it easy to distinguish between drinking and being drunk. Being drunk is not cool. We encourage everyone to know and respect his or her own limits of tolerance and keep an eye on our fellow HH Crew members. Driving drunk is particularly uncool. If you can't arrange for a ride, sober up before you drive. Every bar listed in this guide also offers non-alcoholic beverages for their patrons and will be happy to accommodate you.

So, come to the bars listed in this guide during Happy Hour, 4-7 pm each Friday, and meet some people who'd rather..

DRINK FREE OR DIE!

Bo Zaza, Vice Commodore
Accept No Substitutes


Last updated June 21, 2022.