Happy Hour:

Changing the World One Drink at a Time!

Happy Hour Life Skills

Robert Heinlein, a writer who believed that "specialization is for insects", created a short list of skills that every person should be able to do to call themselves human. He called them life skills. According to Robert: A human being should be able to:

Here at Happy Hour Headquarters, we thought that Robert missed a few skills and recognized that the world needed a list of life skills with a more positive focus, thus, after a few beers and aided with a pen and the back of several bar flyers at Cheers, we came up with these Happy Hour Life Skills:

Fix a lotto Tap a keg Open wine without a corkscrew Find your drink Find Phase 2 Perform a Chinese Beerfuck Establish an alibi Post bail Build a still Find your car Avoid babysitting Make a pipe from items on hand Find the best bar in a strange town Talk your way out of an arrest Talk to strangers Share your friends Fix a toy Entice a minor Right your vehicle Drink for free Remove a bra with one hand Cop a feel without getting caught Throw a party Talk your friends into helping you move Avoid a fight Order your 6th drink without getting cut off

Disembowel a lobster with its own antenna Balance a cellphone and a Happy Hour map while driving Keep Fridays flexible Have your house always available for Phase 2 Make a darn good jello shot Fall without spilling your drink Pee off a boat Avoid sand bars while boating (Dock without damage) Set up a tent in the dark Find your underwear Pack in ten minutes (Dress in 1) Hit your eye with the Visine Pretend to know people's names Clean up a bathroom Treat a hangover Find humor in death Locate the band's sweet spot Find the back door Break into your car/house/apartment Score and remember Front a blues band Spread vicious rumors with total impunity Leave a message in one beep Shake yo' hair/groove thang/bootie Bait your hook Make the most unhappening bar happening